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About This Workshop

It takes an average of seven to nine attempts for people to leave abusive relationships, and often far longer to recover.

But that doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can do! In this workshop, we cover everything you need to know, starting with exactly why these relationships are so much harder to get over, effective techniques you can use going forward, and how to tell if you’re on your way.

We include expert advice in our lively interview with founder and community icon Tracy Malone, who talks about why it's so much harder to get over a toxic relationship.

When you understand why it’s often harder to get over a toxic relationship, you can stop beating yourself up, allow yourself to grieve without guilt, and take specific, productive steps to become emotionally healthy.

We’ll make sure you have the clarity you need to take the first steps in healing from a toxic relationship so that you can finally start to move on with your life.

Workshop Curriculum

  • 1


    • Welcome

    • Why This Topic?

    • Workshop Goals

    • Journal Prompt #1

  • 2

    Why Toxic Relationships Take More Time to Get Over

    • Nostalgia

    • Journal Prompt #2

    • Lisa & Chris' Journal Prompt Responses

    • Nostalgia & Expectations

    • Trauma Bonding

    • Isolation

    • Journal Prompt #3

    • Lisa & Chris' Journal Prompt Responses

  • 3

    Stages of Getting Over a Toxic Relationship

    • Patience & Rebuilding

    • The Grieving Process

    • Journal Prompt #4

  • 4

    Getting Over Your Toxic Breakup

    • Steps You Can Take - Part I

    • Steps You Can Take - Part II

    • Journal Prompt #5

  • 5

    Making Progress

    • Progress You Have Made So Far

    • Journal Exercise #1: What Progress Have You Made Already?

    • What Has Changed?

    • Journal Exercise #2: What Has Changed for You?

  • 6

    Wrapup, Q&A

    • Goals Review

    • Homework Assignment

    • Journal Exercise #3: Your Post-Breakup Life

    • Tracy Malone Interview

    • Facebook Live Q&A

  • 7

    Supplemental Materials

    • Journal Prompts Worksheet

    • Workshop Notes

    • Workshop Goals

    • Here's Why Toxic Relationships Take So Much Longer to Get Over - Julia Pugachevsky

    • Breaking Up and the Discard - Lisa Johnson - article only (no comments)

    • Breaking Up and the Discard - Lisa Johnson - article with all comments

    • Why Is Grieving Over Toxic Relationships More Difficult?

    • How Long Does It Take to Get Over An Ex - Harris, Engle, Bacharach

    • Break-Ups Don’t Have to Leave You Broken - Gary Lewandowski TEDxNavesink

    • 4 Ways to Overcome a Toxic Relationship - Jill P Weber - Psychology Today

    • 7 Ways to Know You’re Getting Over a Toxic Relationship - Karen Nimmo

    • I'm a Survivor How Resilience Became the Quality We All Crave - Emine Saner - The Guardian

Workshop Hosts

Lisa & Chris: "The Recovery Couple"


Lisa Johnson

My toxic marriage lasted for nearly two decades, and I had no idea what I was actually dealing with until after I got out!

I am a state-certified domestic violence advocate and trained crisis counselor, with a background in education. I was able to use these skills to successfully represent myself in court for the past few years since the divorce, battling an ex who has disobeyed multiple court orders without consequence (yet!).

Even though I live the “warrior” lifestyle, I’ve managed to balance that with sole parenting my two nearly adult children, running a business in fashion, and loving life with Chris, who makes me laugh more than anyone.


Chris Barry

I was with a severe malignant narcissist for 14 years and still need to deal with her because we have two teenagers together. That's the bad news.

The GOOD news is that I'm out, and with firm boundaries in place, have very little contact with my ex. Best of all, I've found true love with Lisa and can model a healthy relationship for all of our kids.

Today, Lisa and I are dedicated to offering hope, guidance, and community to others struggling with toxic relationships so they can find the strength they need to sanity back and get out faster, cheaper, and with less pain.


  • How long will this take? I don't have free time.

    How much time are you already spending on worrying, arguing, Googling your partner's irrational behaviors, and losing sleep? Each of our course modules is divided into bite-size chunks, which you can listen to at your convenience (usually totaling less than two hours.)

  • I'm just looking for information. I think I can get through this myself.

    We got through it on our own, but we suffered unnecessarily along the way. Our goal in launching this program is to use our expert knowledge to get you through it a lot faster, cheaper, better, and with less pain than if you try to do it on your own.

  • Do you have a mobile app?

    Not yet, but the learning platform that BTGO's Sanity School is built on is fully responsive for mobile devices and should offer a great learning experience on any device.

  • Why do you charge for your workshops?

    There's a ton of free information available on the internet, some good, some not so good. We strive to do the best job of cutting through all the noise and giving you the most helpful guidance and support that you'll find anywhere. This is a full-time effort for us, and we simply need to earn an income from it. With all of that said, we feel that our workshops are priced very reasonably and affordably, and are a great value.


What real people are saying about Been There Got Out

“Thank you… It’s been a roller coaster but hoping I'll get it together and be able to say it's all in the past, smile, and get ‘me’ back. You guys are truly amazing!”

“Omigosh I am so happy to have found you both. I am not alone! I’ve said this before but thank you!”

“This message came at the most appropriate time in my life! Thank you for doing what you do. It is so important to so many, many women, men, children, and parents of abuse that is so prevalent."

“I look forward to the weeks to come and to learn more. I hope this helps me to get my head around why I can't seem to break the cycle permanently.”

“A complete 180 from my marriage. I am living a life I always thought would never happen!”

“Well, you have helped me in a great way. Everything you explained is exactly how I have been feeling!”

“I simply just wanted to thank you for just being there for me. I cannot express how much finding your website has meant to me.”

“I am working on me thank you so much ❤️ thank you!”

“I am out of my hell and slowly getting my soul back.”

“Chris and Lisa, THANK YOU! I didn’t know until yesterday I was in a toxic relationship. I took your quiz and lo and behold the proof is in the pudding!”