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About This Workshop

Most people do not realize that the legal system and family court provides a way for a toxic person to continue to abuse you, even after a divorce is finalized.

In this workshop, we’ll teach you what litigation abuse is, so that you know what to do when it occurs, and how to cope with your situation as it’s happening.

We include expert advice in our interview with the legal director of DV Leap, a Washington DC organization that takes cases where an abuse victim has been wrongfully denied justice. Our “Survivor Story” also includes an interview with “N,” who talks about her years-long custody battle in family court, and how she’s managed to cope.

To anyone stuck in the legal system with a high-conflict partner, your situation can feel hopeless, especially as we expect court to be a place of justice!

In this workshop, we cover why legal abuse exists, how courts are used to an abuser’s advantage, and what you can do from the get-go to minimize the damage to yourself and your family as much as possible.

With this workshop, you’ll discover how toxic people use the legal system to drain you financially and emotionally, and what you can do to protect yourself while getting the support you need, every step of the way.

Workshop Curriculum

  • 1


    • Introduction

    • Why This Topic?

  • 2

    The Problem of Litigation Abuse

    • What Litigation Abuse Is

    • Why Does Litigation Abuse Exist?

    • Journal Prompt #1

    • What Does Litigation Abuse Look Like? Part 1

    • What Does Litigation Abuse Look Like? Part 2

    • Journal Prompt #2

    • Lisa & Chris' Journal Prompt Responses

  • 3

    How to Prevent Litigation Abuse

    • Documentation

    • Discovery

    • How Abusers Use Discovery

    • Working Effectively with Your Attorney

    • Journal Prompt #3

    • Potential Penalties

  • 4

    When Litigation Abuse Occurs

    • What to Do When Litigation Abuse Occurs

    • How to Pay for it All

  • 5

    Litigation Abuse: the Aftermath

    • Recouping Your Money

    • The Courts Themselves

  • 6

    Coping with Litigation Abuse

    • How to Cope - Part 1

    • How to Cope - Part 2

    • Journal Prompt #4

    • Lisa & Chris' Journal Prompt Responses

    • Financial Abuse & Recovery

  • 7

    Wrapup & Interviews

    • Wrapup & Goals Review

    • Interview: Sasha from DV LEAP

    • Survivor Story: Naomi

  • 8

    Supplemental Materials

    • Journal Prompts Worksheet

    • Workshop Notes

    • Workshop Goals & Transformation

    • Workshop Slides

    • How Abusers Use the Courts Against Their Victims - Jessica Klein, The Atlantic

    • When Domestic Violence Becomes Financial Abuse – Ingrid Freer, The Establishment

    • Abusive Litigation and Domestic Violence Survivors -

    • One More Battleground - Mary Przekop, Seattle Journal for Social Justice

    • Attorney Jim Nolletti on How People Hide Assets

Workshop Hosts

Lisa & Chris: "The Recovery Couple"


Lisa Johnson

My toxic marriage lasted for nearly two decades, and I had no idea what I was actually dealing with until after I got out!

I am a state-certified domestic violence advocate and trained crisis counselor, with a background in education. I was able to use these skills to successfully represent myself in court for the past few years since the divorce, battling an ex who has disobeyed multiple court orders without consequence (yet!).

Even though I live the “warrior” lifestyle, I’ve managed to balance that with sole parenting my two nearly adult children, running a business in fashion, and loving life with Chris, who makes me laugh more than anyone.


Chris Barry

I was with a severe malignant narcissist for 14 years and still need to deal with her because we have two teenagers together. That's the bad news.

The GOOD news is that I'm out, and with firm boundaries in place, have very little contact with my ex. Best of all, I've found true love with Lisa and can model a healthy relationship for all of our kids.

Today, Lisa and I are dedicated to offering hope, guidance, and community to others struggling with toxic relationships so they can find the strength they need to sanity back and get out faster, cheaper, and with less pain.


  • How long will this take? I don't have free time.

    How much time are you already spending on worrying, arguing, Googling your partner's irrational behaviors, and losing sleep? Each of our course modules is divided into bite-size chunks, which you can listen to at your convenience (usually totaling less than two hours.)

  • I'm just looking for information. I think I can get through this myself.

    We got through it on our own, but we suffered unnecessarily along the way. Our goal in launching this program is to use our expert knowledge to get you through it a lot faster, cheaper, better, and with less pain than if you try to do it on your own.

  • Do you have a mobile app?

    Not yet, but the learning platform that BTGO's Sanity School is built on is fully responsive for mobile devices and should offer a great learning experience on any device.

  • Why do you charge for your workshops?

    There's a ton of free information available on the internet, some good, some not so good. We strive to do the best job of cutting through all the noise and giving you the most helpful guidance and support that you'll find anywhere. This is a full-time effort for us, and we simply need to earn an income from it. With all of that said, we feel that our workshops are priced very reasonably and affordably, and are a great value.


What real people are saying about Been There Got Out

“Thank you… It’s been a roller coaster but hoping I'll get it together and be able to say it's all in the past, smile, and get ‘me’ back. You guys are truly amazing!”

“Omigosh I am so happy to have found you both. I am not alone! I’ve said this before but thank you!”

“This message came at the most appropriate time in my life! Thank you for doing what you do. It is so important to so many, many women, men, children, and parents of abuse that is so prevalent."

“I look forward to the weeks to come and to learn more. I hope this helps me to get my head around why I can't seem to break the cycle permanently.”

“A complete 180 from my marriage. I am living a life I always thought would never happen!”

“Well, you have helped me in a great way. Everything you explained is exactly how I have been feeling!”

“I simply just wanted to thank you for just being there for me. I cannot express how much finding your website has meant to me.”

“I am working on me thank you so much ❤️ thank you!”

“I am out of my hell and slowly getting my soul back.”

“Chris and Lisa, THANK YOU! I didn’t know until yesterday I was in a toxic relationship. I took your quiz and lo and behold the proof is in the pudding!”